Good evening,
I hate being alone, I've hated it every day for the past 8+ years and I don't like it any better right now. Yes I've had some great relationships but they are not the same as having a mate, someone to walk at your side and face life with you every day.
Right now I have a friend in Houston and we talk quite a bit during the day, she sends me U Tube songs and they are really good choices. But its not the same as being with someone, married and united.
God knows how I feel and I think He cares but He gets frustrated with my short memory span forgetting his past blessings all too fast.
Today was, jump and hear the rain outside, shower and breakfast of oatmeal with banana, then office to do what I can, then out the door to Kaiser to an eye appointment, I've had blood in both eyes so my friend raised concern, the exam went really well and yes I will be getting new glasses, my Kaiser plan pays a whole $75 toward new glasses and I'm sure they will be several hundred dollars, anyway he found my eyes to be in pretty good shape, blood was just some broken little vessels, he gave me some great eye drops and dilated my eyes, that was a real trip trying to drive to the next appointment an hour away, try to see the house through foggy eyes and then drive the comps and to the next appointment, bummer, can't believe they let you out on the road after doing that to you.
This afternoon I had to rush home to jam an appraisal out the door quickly, made the deadline, this evening working on more that Son Steve has prewritten, he does a super job helping. Now its bed time and talking to my friend in Houston.
Please pray that God will guide me and that I will listen to His leading.
Love to all
Tim
Monday, January 4, 2016
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Family
Some gifts we feel all year long, for me its my 8 member family. Steve and Nikki with Keanna and Kallie are near so I get to see them more often. Today Jason and Jo drove over to pick up Jason's car which I had repaired at my shop here, $151 bill instead of the quoted $1100 at Sears in San Jose and they never even located the real problem at Sears! Should be reported, crooks.
While Jason and Jo were here we went to lunch at Red Robin, Julie and Clayton were here too, Jo's brother and mother, fun to eat together and enjoy our time.
This evening I took up the challenge of replacing the low beam light on the VW bug, not an easy fix. After hours of work it is now working perfectly but what a challenge that was, I looked at the UTube video many times before finding all the right things to push and turn to release it. Now the lights work again, thank you Lord.
Tomorrow afternoon I have an appraisal in Manteca at 1:30 but otherwise than that I'll do my 3 mile walk and then work, work, work.
I've spend quite a bit of time talking to my friend in Houston today and as we talk I learn so much about her and what she has experienced in her life up to this point. A remarkable woman and a real challenge to many of my assumptions. I'll see her again in a couple weeks and every time we are together the learning curve increases, I'm thankful.
Now its bed time, life is precious and very good in spite of the challenges, relationships and all that goes with it.
It was so fun to watch Mia and Timothy today at lunch, what great little people, my grandchildren are normal, bright and a joy to be with! I'm thankful and grateful to a loving God.
Love to all
Tim
While Jason and Jo were here we went to lunch at Red Robin, Julie and Clayton were here too, Jo's brother and mother, fun to eat together and enjoy our time.
This evening I took up the challenge of replacing the low beam light on the VW bug, not an easy fix. After hours of work it is now working perfectly but what a challenge that was, I looked at the UTube video many times before finding all the right things to push and turn to release it. Now the lights work again, thank you Lord.
Tomorrow afternoon I have an appraisal in Manteca at 1:30 but otherwise than that I'll do my 3 mile walk and then work, work, work.
I've spend quite a bit of time talking to my friend in Houston today and as we talk I learn so much about her and what she has experienced in her life up to this point. A remarkable woman and a real challenge to many of my assumptions. I'll see her again in a couple weeks and every time we are together the learning curve increases, I'm thankful.
Now its bed time, life is precious and very good in spite of the challenges, relationships and all that goes with it.
It was so fun to watch Mia and Timothy today at lunch, what great little people, my grandchildren are normal, bright and a joy to be with! I'm thankful and grateful to a loving God.
Love to all
Tim
Friday, January 1, 2016
Changing
My dear family and friends
Since I last wrote here my life has changed quite a bit. My hopes of a future with my wonderful friend Ying have not worked out. Our communication has been so bad, I thought she was rejecting me so turned to search for someone new and she was not actually sending me away at all. So at the moment I'm in transition and its emotionally challenging, I do believe that God will help me sort all of this out. Last Christmas night I flew to Houston to meet in person a new friend. What I found was delightful, a very interesting and bright woman who just happens to be nice looking but is a church going woman of high standards, multi talented and speaks very good English. We had several really enjoyable days together and I met her little friend Gucci who I walked in the grass and got to really enjoy. We ate at several Asian places nearby and spent hours getting to know each other. We all have our story to tell and hers is one of challenge and pain yet she is a happy person and is so helpful to her many friends in the Houston area. I flew home on Monday night with happy memories and a urgent desire to return when possible. I'm going back again soon you can be sure of that. My friend of 99 days is considering a return trip to china to see her family, that would be so wonderful as she loves that family so much. I enjoyed our time together and I learned so much from her wisdom and honest appraisal of my good points and my bad ones. I will always count her as my friend and look back on our time as a precious time. I thought we would end up married and it seems so did she but she never let me know until I had gone to Houston and sort of moved on. Missed communication! But I know God cares and will guide in everything.
I am enjoying frequent texts and photos with my new friend, she communicates in amazing ways!
Tomorrow I plan to be in church, my little girls cannot make it tomorrow so I'll be free to enjoy the worship hour. This morning I rose late after being up talking to Houston until about 2 am. I walked my 3 miles and it felt very good to get back into it again.
God is so good to us in spite of our weaknesses and failures. How I appreciate His love and forgiveness as I start this new year. I hope this is the year that I no longer am alone!
Love to all
Tim
Since I last wrote here my life has changed quite a bit. My hopes of a future with my wonderful friend Ying have not worked out. Our communication has been so bad, I thought she was rejecting me so turned to search for someone new and she was not actually sending me away at all. So at the moment I'm in transition and its emotionally challenging, I do believe that God will help me sort all of this out. Last Christmas night I flew to Houston to meet in person a new friend. What I found was delightful, a very interesting and bright woman who just happens to be nice looking but is a church going woman of high standards, multi talented and speaks very good English. We had several really enjoyable days together and I met her little friend Gucci who I walked in the grass and got to really enjoy. We ate at several Asian places nearby and spent hours getting to know each other. We all have our story to tell and hers is one of challenge and pain yet she is a happy person and is so helpful to her many friends in the Houston area. I flew home on Monday night with happy memories and a urgent desire to return when possible. I'm going back again soon you can be sure of that. My friend of 99 days is considering a return trip to china to see her family, that would be so wonderful as she loves that family so much. I enjoyed our time together and I learned so much from her wisdom and honest appraisal of my good points and my bad ones. I will always count her as my friend and look back on our time as a precious time. I thought we would end up married and it seems so did she but she never let me know until I had gone to Houston and sort of moved on. Missed communication! But I know God cares and will guide in everything.
I am enjoying frequent texts and photos with my new friend, she communicates in amazing ways!
Tomorrow I plan to be in church, my little girls cannot make it tomorrow so I'll be free to enjoy the worship hour. This morning I rose late after being up talking to Houston until about 2 am. I walked my 3 miles and it felt very good to get back into it again.
God is so good to us in spite of our weaknesses and failures. How I appreciate His love and forgiveness as I start this new year. I hope this is the year that I no longer am alone!
Love to all
Tim
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Long Days
Some days retirement looks so appealing, to be able to clean the garage and then putter in it on projects, clean the boat, get the motorhome in good condition, trim the plants.
But instead this morning I rolled out at 5 am after going to bed at 1 am this morning. I took a friend to the airport, then back to Hayward to deliver a flower to my special Ying, then do a reinspection, then race to Stockton for an early arrival, then Lodi for an early arrival and then River Bank for an early arrival. God blessed with safety and I'm enjoying driving the diesel bug again, 42 mpg and so comfortable with heated leather seats, great sound system and perfect heater, nice and a blessing.
Had great conversations this afternoon with Ying using WeChat, a system that allows for the translation of communications. So I speak into the phone what I want to say, it turns my words into text, then when Ying receives the text a few seconds later she pushes two places and the words are translated into Chinese, same for me when she writes to me, amazing and free app.
But I suppose it delays the learning process of a new language, we also have a translator on our phones so when we ride along in the car I have my phone on my knee and when I speak to her in English she hears it in Chinese. It is good for English but not so good for Chinese, often when she speaks it does not recognize what she has said and I never learn what she meant to say but still it is a great help. Her English is better every day and my Chinese remains stuck to about 4 words.
I'm heading to bed now, it was a great day of work and safety as I drove and texted verbally, listened to a great book and talked to many people for business.
Sending love to all and asking for your prayers that God will guide Ying and I in our relationship, sometimes rocky and sometimes very sweet, not easy to fall in love when you are my age or even her tender age of 46, she looks 35 which makes it even more difficult out in public, people think she is my daughter, she does not like that at all.
Take care my friends and family,
Tim
But instead this morning I rolled out at 5 am after going to bed at 1 am this morning. I took a friend to the airport, then back to Hayward to deliver a flower to my special Ying, then do a reinspection, then race to Stockton for an early arrival, then Lodi for an early arrival and then River Bank for an early arrival. God blessed with safety and I'm enjoying driving the diesel bug again, 42 mpg and so comfortable with heated leather seats, great sound system and perfect heater, nice and a blessing.
Had great conversations this afternoon with Ying using WeChat, a system that allows for the translation of communications. So I speak into the phone what I want to say, it turns my words into text, then when Ying receives the text a few seconds later she pushes two places and the words are translated into Chinese, same for me when she writes to me, amazing and free app.
But I suppose it delays the learning process of a new language, we also have a translator on our phones so when we ride along in the car I have my phone on my knee and when I speak to her in English she hears it in Chinese. It is good for English but not so good for Chinese, often when she speaks it does not recognize what she has said and I never learn what she meant to say but still it is a great help. Her English is better every day and my Chinese remains stuck to about 4 words.
I'm heading to bed now, it was a great day of work and safety as I drove and texted verbally, listened to a great book and talked to many people for business.
Sending love to all and asking for your prayers that God will guide Ying and I in our relationship, sometimes rocky and sometimes very sweet, not easy to fall in love when you are my age or even her tender age of 46, she looks 35 which makes it even more difficult out in public, people think she is my daughter, she does not like that at all.
Take care my friends and family,
Tim
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Rainy day in California
Blustery night, heavy rains and wind sent gates and fences leaning and swinging.
My day started with a walk to the park where we were all hurrying to get back home in the warm.
Had a rare sunday appointment at 10 in Walnut Creek, rains were incredibly hard on the way but were less so during the appointment, still not a lot of fun, very wet and so glad Ying insisted on a new coat for me, it came in so handy with a hood and all during the work.
Then drive back to work in the office, do my laundry and get the office all arranged for the week, now I have tight appointments for the next two days that will involved hundreds of miles and many inspections, amazingly many are sales at this time of year.
So thankful for work, for my friend Ying and for my family.
Keanna and I went Christmas shopping this evening and then to dinner, fun stuff but so cold and windy. Loving driving the Bug with its strong German heater and great 42 mpg for long trips, that coupled with low diesel prices means less money out for travel.
Now to bed and to be ready for a very long day tomorrow, God is good to us, not always easy to understand but always there with His incredible love that amazes and inspires us to love one another in the same manner.
I long for a day when I will no longer be alone, after 8 years of it I'm through with doing everything solo but I know God knows best. I wasted a year and a half pursuing Ellen in Ghana, I will never know for sure but I'm pretty sure it was a scam to see how much money. Morning after morning I woke to believe she was flying in that day only to have another issue that cost money arise. I have a hard time with waking up now, tend to be very discouraged when I first wake. It was never like that before Ellen and the scam so that is a bitter pill to deal with.
Love life though and even have Christmas lights strung across the garage now.
Sending love to all,
Tim
Please pray for Ying and then for me that we will find the right path for the future. She is an amazing woman with a heart of gold and an honesty that is so open and refreshing. Oh that I could be as good of person as she is!
My day started with a walk to the park where we were all hurrying to get back home in the warm.
Had a rare sunday appointment at 10 in Walnut Creek, rains were incredibly hard on the way but were less so during the appointment, still not a lot of fun, very wet and so glad Ying insisted on a new coat for me, it came in so handy with a hood and all during the work.
Then drive back to work in the office, do my laundry and get the office all arranged for the week, now I have tight appointments for the next two days that will involved hundreds of miles and many inspections, amazingly many are sales at this time of year.
So thankful for work, for my friend Ying and for my family.
Keanna and I went Christmas shopping this evening and then to dinner, fun stuff but so cold and windy. Loving driving the Bug with its strong German heater and great 42 mpg for long trips, that coupled with low diesel prices means less money out for travel.
Now to bed and to be ready for a very long day tomorrow, God is good to us, not always easy to understand but always there with His incredible love that amazes and inspires us to love one another in the same manner.
I long for a day when I will no longer be alone, after 8 years of it I'm through with doing everything solo but I know God knows best. I wasted a year and a half pursuing Ellen in Ghana, I will never know for sure but I'm pretty sure it was a scam to see how much money. Morning after morning I woke to believe she was flying in that day only to have another issue that cost money arise. I have a hard time with waking up now, tend to be very discouraged when I first wake. It was never like that before Ellen and the scam so that is a bitter pill to deal with.
Love life though and even have Christmas lights strung across the garage now.
Sending love to all,
Tim
Please pray for Ying and then for me that we will find the right path for the future. She is an amazing woman with a heart of gold and an honesty that is so open and refreshing. Oh that I could be as good of person as she is!
Friday, December 11, 2015
Finally a good deed
Today is Steve's birthday and what fun they are having this evening with a few friends over. Nikki is looking great with her loss of more than 60 pounds, amazing really. So very proud of her and she is sticking with it faithfully.
Today I inspected a home in Antioch, then drove to Martinez to see another, then hit the road for Rocklin, a long trip for sure. I arrived on schedule at 1 pm, picked up a young man from Hong Kong named Moses and we left for the SF airport, We arrived there at 4:15 and since Moses did not fly out until 6:15 we had plenty of time. We found his gate and he is on the first leg of a long trip, this trip to Japan will take 16 hours and then a 4 hour flight to Hong Kong afterwards. He is a nice Christian boy with a beautiful girlfriend who helped see him off today. He is so funny, he says they argue every day no matter what and wonders if that is normal. His English is so much better than when he came a few months ago, I picked him up from the airport then and drove him to Rocklin to Sierra College at that time. His mom is fighting cancer and he is so happy to be going home to see his beloved family. Once I left the airport I found a daunting GPS warning that it would take 3 hours to get home, then Nikki called to remind me of Steve's birthday party this evening, the trip was faster than the warning and before long I was enjoying pizza and German Chocolate Cake, wow was it good.
The home was filled with kids, friends and good cheer. How I hate to come home alone and even though I got to talk to Ying via WeChat, a very good system where you can send photos and messages, even make phone calls. That was nice but not the same as being together.
Will you pray for us, that we figure out the next step of our future if we are supposed to have a future?
Love to all
Tim
Today I inspected a home in Antioch, then drove to Martinez to see another, then hit the road for Rocklin, a long trip for sure. I arrived on schedule at 1 pm, picked up a young man from Hong Kong named Moses and we left for the SF airport, We arrived there at 4:15 and since Moses did not fly out until 6:15 we had plenty of time. We found his gate and he is on the first leg of a long trip, this trip to Japan will take 16 hours and then a 4 hour flight to Hong Kong afterwards. He is a nice Christian boy with a beautiful girlfriend who helped see him off today. He is so funny, he says they argue every day no matter what and wonders if that is normal. His English is so much better than when he came a few months ago, I picked him up from the airport then and drove him to Rocklin to Sierra College at that time. His mom is fighting cancer and he is so happy to be going home to see his beloved family. Once I left the airport I found a daunting GPS warning that it would take 3 hours to get home, then Nikki called to remind me of Steve's birthday party this evening, the trip was faster than the warning and before long I was enjoying pizza and German Chocolate Cake, wow was it good.
The home was filled with kids, friends and good cheer. How I hate to come home alone and even though I got to talk to Ying via WeChat, a very good system where you can send photos and messages, even make phone calls. That was nice but not the same as being together.
Will you pray for us, that we figure out the next step of our future if we are supposed to have a future?
Love to all
Tim
Monday, December 7, 2015
Another day
Sort of down tonight, trouble domestically with my friend and I know I have failed to love her like God wants to have her loved. Ever feel like that, you just know your love is filled with selfishness and is not a pure love like that of Jesus.
Today I started in Antioch, perfect home with delightful older couple, then to San Francisco to see a home for an estate and a value of last year in September, then to Hayward to see an overpriced condo and then finally home.
I picked up the green diesel bug from the shop. Sad experience, I had taken it for tires and the owner offered a nice new 4 wheel alignment on his fancy equipment. Before they got through with it they had caused over $800 in damages and so for the last two months the car is sitting in the garage. So today I decided I need to drive it. Now it is great and I can enjoy doing my work with this very nice car again.
Ray, my neighbor was kind enough to drive me there last night to drop the car off and to pick up the Civic and drive it home tonight for me.
Now I'm tired so am heading to bed now. Many miles with God's travel mercies, I never stop thanking Him for keeping me safe and sound as I drive.
Just now I was able to have a short phone call with my special lady and it was so nice and tender. Now I can sleep better, the day ends well.
Love to all
Tim
Today I started in Antioch, perfect home with delightful older couple, then to San Francisco to see a home for an estate and a value of last year in September, then to Hayward to see an overpriced condo and then finally home.
I picked up the green diesel bug from the shop. Sad experience, I had taken it for tires and the owner offered a nice new 4 wheel alignment on his fancy equipment. Before they got through with it they had caused over $800 in damages and so for the last two months the car is sitting in the garage. So today I decided I need to drive it. Now it is great and I can enjoy doing my work with this very nice car again.
Ray, my neighbor was kind enough to drive me there last night to drop the car off and to pick up the Civic and drive it home tonight for me.
Now I'm tired so am heading to bed now. Many miles with God's travel mercies, I never stop thanking Him for keeping me safe and sound as I drive.
Just now I was able to have a short phone call with my special lady and it was so nice and tender. Now I can sleep better, the day ends well.
Love to all
Tim
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