Contrasts

This morning I was able to complete what I could not last night.  The software people very quickly turned me on for another year at $66 a month and I was able to get the report out the door and to the lender.  Then I left for San Pablo where I discovered a little dump, flat top house with aluminum siding, weeds every place, a place that really needs someone to love it.  Once I was done there I drove to Brentwood to a 3,200 sf home with everything including a grieving widow.  So in one year she lost her marriage and her home, her father died, just very very sad to think of some with three kids going through all that.  The home was perfect, had a nice pool, lots of upgrades and so the contrasts.  Both homes will have a family living within their walls, who knows which one will be happier or more at peace.  The Brentwood home was once worth nearly a million dollars and is now selling for a 1/3 of that price.

This evening in an attempt to get my life back on tract I drove to weight watchers.  Their all new program really looks and sounds good.  This evening I've been playing with the online pages where you put in what you eat and it lets you know how you are doing, they are easier to use than ever and I was encouraged by attending the meeting.  It is standing room only and the speaker is an excellent communicator.  I found just the lift I needed.  The new program is even more friendly to those who love vegetables and fruits and is based on new research that seems to make good sense.

After WW I went to Raley's to get some vegefood and then caught up with Nikki and the girls at gymnastics.  It is always enjoyable to see the girls in action, they are great little people.  And this weekend I think I might venture out in my own motorhome to visit Jason and Jo, to hold little Mia and play with Timothy.  It should be fun.  I think I'll have Keanna Friday night for a sleep over and then take the girls to SS and then leave for MBA afterwards.  Work has slowed enough that I think I can take the time and renew that precious contact with family.

My rep from my loan company sent me an email today saying she was appealing the decision made by the investors and would let me know if she needed anything more paper work wise.  I'm so glad to have a person inside to render assistance.

These days are cold and Ken is forcing me to walk in the morning, can we say freeze.

So good night one and all,

love

tim

Life plods forward

Dear Family and Friends,
Right now I am seeing red.  I was just completing a report that was due out tonight and the software would not work, seemed it expired at midnight.  Of course I sent an email yesterday asking for a new one year agreement, heard nothing so assumed that they had renewed it, wrong.  Man my flash point is fairly low these days, last night when the bread I was baking had finished I took the little loaf out and sliced off a tiny piece to take a bite and managed to bite my tongue, there was blood everywhere and pain like I've not felt many times.  I was so upset and downright angry.  Eventually some mouthwash and a night of sleep calmed the pain.  I think I come by the anger naturally.  Both my mom and dad could really go off if pushed and I can sure feel the anger rise at times.  When things are unsettled like now with the house mortgage process bogged down, Starr so troubled by legs that don't work right and my own inability to get things done when they should be done, well it is easy to get upset.  Yes I know my heart does not need to stress and mostly I can walk away from intense moments after a bit.

I guess it is really disappointing to discover that at my age I'm still so imperfect, so riddled with contradictions and disappointments, I long to have the personality of Jesus, He really cared for people, not all emotional, but did the right thing for their eternal good, He was the master of tough love, oh to be wise and calm, caring and consistent.

I've mostly cranked out work today, went to see on this morning and it turned out to be really nice.  They have just completed a huge rear deck of vinyl material and their water view is excellent.  At one point it would be have worth a lot of money, now not so much and that is the sad side of my job.  Confirming bad news day by day is what I do.

This evening Keanna called to ask if we could do a piece of her homework.  She needed to interview me about my childhood.  We ended up gathering at the pizza parlor and had a great time with Steve, Nikki, Kallie and Keanna.  Food was good, family was even better, Kallie spilled her milk and later her water but they all handled it so calmly, I was very proud of them and of course charmed by little Keanna and Kallie.  Keanna scored big tonight.  She was blowing her quarters in a machine that never gives up its little stuffed toys, just frustrates the kiddos and she grabbed two stuffed creatures and got them both.  She promptly gave one to Kallie and was very happy to beat the machine.  It was a great performance!

Well its bed time since I can't do any more work until I call and get the software reconnected in the morning.

Love to all

Tim

Back in the saddle again

No not on horseback, I'll let Loree handle that duty, back in the work saddle again was what I meant.  As I write the house is filled with the great smells of baking bread, the loaf is just about ready and wow it does smell good.
Ken and I walked in the cold air, then I came back to start work.  To ward off the chill I stoked the fire into action and while I had breakfast it burned bright.  I can't see the fire when I'm working but I could feel it do its job all morning long.
After working for several hours I ventured outside and took the time to get the boat covered properly, now its ready for the next storm with a little light bulb burning under the canvas to keep it dry.  Then Lois and Ray helped me navigate the motorhome into place so I could dump the tanks.  While we were beside the coach Ray had me drill out the rivets holding in the broken awning handle.  Once I came in I went on the internet and found the part, have it ordered and in a few days we'll have that problem solved.
I've managed to work myself back up from the dumps about the loan company and tomorrow will start the process all over again, trying to help them see that if they give me a fighting chance I'll make my house payment even before I pay other things.  Its always been that way for my lifetime, the mortgage payment always came first.
And so a new week is upon us.  I'm thankful for basic health, true I still cough, I have pretty severe pain in the heal of my left foot and I've stopped losing weight, wonder why?

Still there are so many things to be thankful for and people who bless me, I love the kiddos so much and their parents are pretty nice too at times, well actually great!

Love to all and please pray for our friend Carrol who lives in Lodi with her faithful and dedicated husband Bob.  Carrol's other knee is giving out, she is on chemo and they face some challenging decisions this week.  I know they appreciate being remembered in our prayers.

Love to all,

Tim

Good news, bad news

Dear Family and Friends,
As I write this evening the motorhome sits quietly in the driveway and is home from its 1600 mile venture to Arizona and back.  Wes and family had a great time and enjoyed the trip very much.  The motorhome performed very well and they are totally happy.  I too am happy that they are back safely after driving through really awful rain and wind.  What was interesting is this time both husband and wife drove the coach.  I don't think it has ever been driven by a woman before and she like driving it a lot. That could be interesting for the future.
So that is my good news, the motorhome is back safely.  The bad news came in the mail today.  A letter from PNC my mortgage company informed me that I did not have enough income to pay my mortgage therefore they were not going to modify the loan payment.  So now I must begin again I guess.  I've sent emails to the two counselors who I met with 2 weeks ago and we'll take it from here.  I have to admit it was a hard hit as I had hoped that all the hard work in getting all the paperwork ready would do the trick.
I've had a wonderful fire burning a lot today enjoying the wood that Jerry brought when he last visited. 
This morning Nikki and Steve allowed me to take the girls to Sabbath School and that was really enjoyable.  I was with Kallie and she really gets into the experience.  It was very very fun to get to have them both in the car and listen to their songs, their comments and their excitement about living.  How they were looking forward to coming home and decorating for Christmas.
This evening I'm made Ramein and a grilled cheese sandwich, I know not so healthy but oh so good.  Now before I head to bed I think I'll venture out one more time to Safeway and get a couple things, paper towels and dishwasher soup.  Just not ready to head to bed yet.

On EHarmony this evening a name popped up so I checked into her info.  Wow, she was a knock out and a family physician but she was so spectacular that I didn't even respond to her request for a conversation.  My impression is she is out of my league!  Yet she sure got my attention, very interesting views on life, on service, on family, sounds like an incredible lady.

I spoke to Barb Lammderding this afternoon and discovered that they were involved in a pretty nasty accident, the side of their Honda van was crushed.  While no one was hurt the insurance company decided to just pay them for it instead of fixing it.  So they have purchased a 2005 Honda Odyssey, white with brown leather interior, heated seats and they love it.  I'm so happy for them, glad they came through the accident OK, a lady turned into them while they were stopped, totally her fault.

Life sure moves fast these days.  I'm still reeling from the disappointment of the loan company denial.  I could take retirement money, catch the loan up and save the house but I'm not sure I want to use up my retirement funds to save the house at this point, does not seem to make a lot of sense.

Please pray that God will guide again as He has so many times.  Thank you for doing that.

Love to all,

Tim

Keeping it real

So there was this Friday where everything really clicked.  Meet in Orinda with a client, get a check, see 4 properties in Concord, Orinda,SF and end it up in Fremont, drive home, find checks in the mail box, after all these months finally a payday.

This evening I got to use the new axe I purchased on the way home.  It reduced a couple pieces of wood to bite size kindling which burned perfectly, what a nice evening and just to accomplish something else I tweaked the frig, you see after I last tweaked it the frig side has been running about 23 degees and that tends to freeze nearly everything.  So I decided that I would just put the old part that was keeping it too warm last summer back in and see if with the colder weather and cold nights perhaps the frig would be about righ now.  We will see.

Starr has been sitting with me in the recliner, she loves to spend time with her daddy and is so happy to have me come home after spending a long day in her little bed beside a oil filled heater I borrowed from Steve, keeps the part of the room nice and warm for her.  Its the least I can do.  Also she gets a wet food every morning now and she loves it.

Tomorrow morning we walk and then I get to take the girls to Sabbath School.  Then sometime during the day the motorhome is supposed to be returned, I'll be glad to see it back, I'm anxious to use it again myself.  There is something very subtle that takes place when you rent something out.  It changes the way you feel about it, can't really explain but there is something different.  I think you become more detached from it.  Like I think I could handle it if I had to sell it now.  Still waiting to hear from the lender but I did get a letter from the HUD counselors today with suggestions of what to do while waiting and I'm going to follow that carefully.

Well the Sabbath is here and I'm so very glad to experience it.

Love to all,


Tim

Nice

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm home again after driving to MBA and enjoying a day with Mia and her family.  I actually got to hold her a lot today and she is a really beautiful little lady.  Her tiny hands and big searching eyes, her soft skin and loud vocal renditions made my day.  Jo and Jason are doing a great job with she and Timothy. 
I set no alarm this morning and just climbed out into the cold when I woke.  Having been up late watching DVR offerings the night was great.  I just snuggle in under my two light blankets with Starr clamped to my side.  I roll back and forth until the blankets are wrapped tightly around me, then I just let my body create warmth.  With these super cold nights, at least for California, I keep the doors and windows closed.  The hot shower feels so welcome in the mornings and climbing out remains a challenge in the cool air.

Once I arrived at MBA today I first went to the kids house and I played with the little ones while Jason and Jo finished up on preparing the food.  Jo made many tasty dishes of food which we then transported using the back of my van.  Along with several other families we descended on the fireside room at the gym complex where a fire was roaring and the room was decorated nicely.  There was so much food, it was just amazing.  Everything was good and there were several tasty vegan dishes that seemed to be a big hit with the several families that assembled there.  After we stuffed our bodies with food many played in the gym shooting baskets or kicking soccer balls, there were little people and middle aged people there and all enjoyed playing and socializing.

At around 5 most gave up and headed back to their respective homes.  For the last hour before I left I had Mia sleeping soundly on a pillow on my lap.  It was great just watching her peacefully resting there.  Tomorrow night I'll have many pictures to share.

I missed seeing my other family today.  They spent the afternoon with their adopted family in Tracy and tonight Nikki is camped out somewhere waiting for shopping opportunities somewhere at nearby stores.  Black Friday for me will be spent seeing 4 properties and shooting comps for a couple more places.  I'll be busy and I hope to pick up a check for over a thousand dollars for some estate work.  Now that is my idea of black Friday.

I'm pretty sure you had a great day today.  I'm trying to move my perspective more and more from crisis to greatfulness.  No matter there are many things to be thankful for and to appreciate.  I wait anxiously for word from PNC, my mortgage company, how I hope and pray that they will be able to render  some help in adjustment the amount I pay each month for my house payment..  There are so many that are wrestling with big issues this year and we really need to hold each other up.

So on this special day of thanks I add my thanks for each of you and for what you are doing to lift those around you to know Jesus better, to live caring lives and to move beyond all the push for stuff to touching people with real relationships.
Love

tim

A Good Day

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”


A friend sent this and I wanted to share it.  Seems I have a lot to learn about really being grateful, about enjoying the now instead of regretting the past or dreading the future.
 
My wish is that you would enjoy your time together tomorrow, that you would express how you really feel to those you encounter, that you would fix broken things and strengthen good things, that you would treasure the simple things that are eternal and relegate the stressful things to a less important place in your life for at least one day.
 
I had dinner with a friend this evening, it was a very special time, the food was great, the rushing sweep of the day slowed to a crawl and peace reigned.  Life can keep surprising us if and when we let it happen.
 
Love to all,
Thank you family, friends for your being a part of my life and bringing great meaning to it when I will listen or be aware.
 
tim