Oncology news

Well here we go again. 
This afternoon I had an appointment with Dr. Bahl, an oncologist.  His news was sobering.  He went over the findings from the surgery where a 3.2 cm tumor was removed.  It is considered a very low grade slow moving cancer and the path reports show they cut with clear margins getting all of the tumor cells.  However that is not the end of the story.

Turns out that when this very specific tumor is larger than 2 cm then removing a part of the colon is the standard practice.  He says it is not urgent but should be done in the next 2 months time.  This time there will be a scar since they want to have a clear view of what is taking place inside.  That also means longer recovery time, how exciting.  So I walked out having to work through more thoughts about my mortality.  Now Nan would have been quick to put it in perspective but at this point I have to move forward on my own.

This evening I'm enjoying some calmer weather.  I've had white caps on the lake all day and high winds buffeting the house.  I've had a fire burning but there are enough places around the dog door where outside air slips in that there are drafts everywhere.  Yet Starr and I have stayed warm enough.

I'm considering having Starr put to sleep tomorrow.  Her life is miserable, she can't do anything and is totally dependant on me, I don't mind the duty but soon I'll be gone for a few days and she would be so miserable with me away.  This morning when I put her on her fresh pad she looked up at me for several moments, I could just see her saying, do I have to endure another boring day?  It will be one of the harder things I ever had to do as Starr has been in the middle of our lives for the last 14 years, through it all she has been there, on the bed, on the recliner, at our heels, at the table begging, barking, warning, chasing the cats, attacking Jazz, our full size Golden who lives next door.  Starr has been a great traveler in the motorhome, a great hiking buddy and a loyal friend.  Why oh why does life toss us these terrible choices?

On another front my IPHONE is dead this evening.  I'm not sure what happened.  I had it with me at the doctors, then when I got a hair cut and finally when I was talking to Nikki as I drove home, then at Subway but when I reached for it it was totally dead, plugging it in did not help, its just dead.;  Suddenly my business contacts, my friends everything is up in the air.  So I guess I'll be checking in at the AT&T store in the morning to see what needs to happen next.  Funny how much these little devices become a part of our life.  I had to call Nikki to reach Jason tonight as I didn't know his home number.

I would appreciate your prayers as I wade through this maze of cancer, surgery, holding the business together, getting work completed and finding my way to better health.

Love to all

Tim

Handicapped

Good evening
It is now the evening of the second day and my hand is less in the air now.  I've labored today to get things written but only managed to ship out 2 reports.  working with one finger takes a lot of extra time to be sure.

The night went really well, yes i did wake often since I had my hand elevated on a pillow but each time I went right back to sleep.  At 6 the alarm jarred me out of bed and i woke to a cold world.  So I built a one handed fire which seemed to catch and roar just the same as a two handed fire.  Before long the house was warm.  Then it was time for oatmeal, stripples and a banana.

The rest of the day was spent here in this lovely office with Starr.  I managed to tidy things up a bit and then settled down to work.  Steve came by to assist with a couple files and let his dogs swim.  They barked and enjoyed themselves in the lake in spite of the cold.

Now its time to wind down.  Tomorrow I see an oncologist as a follow up to the tumor that was discovered during the surgery.  He will have the results of the CT scan from last Friday or was it monday.

My hand is healing quickly, nothing seeping through the bandages so far.  Its a challenge to type with the bandage in the way but it does not come off until Friday the 9th.

I've kept a fire going all day today.  I have this wonderful wood stack of oak wood which burns amazingly well.  Very thankful for it.

So now its time to wind it up for the day.

Love to all,

Tim

its over

hi
this will be brief as it is done with left hand.
surgery went well, very quick, now im to hold my hand above my heart for two days. not so easy to do.

glad its over, now learning to do everything with left hand!

Ray and Lois were great help today.  Ray was here at 8, stayed at the hospital waiting for me. 

We then drove to Orinda and did a drivebay appraisal.  Then we found Applebees for some great food, then drive him, Ray at the wheel, I'm sitting there trying to remember to keep my hand elevated.

Got home, got in Motorhome and I drove with Ray as wingman to Pittsburg to get windows replaced.  Lois drove a backup car and we then headed home.

this evening been talking to Jerry, Marilyn and Art, now heading to bed and will try to figure out how to keep hand elevated above heart. 

Love to all,  yes there is pain but Im glad  its finished,

love

tim,

Waiting for the pain

Well here I am, its 10 pm and I've been running all day.  Managed to see three homes, all large and challenging.  The weather was gray, chilly and dismal but the properties were OK.

The coughing is so bad that this evening the headache is present.  Wish it could be solved and soon.

Tomorrow morning Ray and I drive to Walnut Creek so I can face the surgeon, he is going to make a little cut in the palm of my hand, slice a small piece of something inside and that is supposed to solve the trigger finger.  Oh it was so tempting to just click the cancel button when the reminder popped up from Kaiser, put it off until another time but why!  The pain is so bad that it gets my attention all the time.  Opening doors is a challenge, driving hurts, holding the measuring wheel is pretty awful so this is one of those times when a person just walks forward, you hate everything about the event you are facing but you just walk forward and grin and bear it.

Jerry called tonight, he's had lots of stuff done to his hands but of course he is much older than I am so thats to be expected!!  He'll like that comment.  He could not remember much about the time when his trigger thumb was fixed.

I'll fill you in more tomorrow night.  meanwhile I have this huge stack of reports to get written up and soon.

Sending my best thoughts for your upcoming week!

Love

tim

A really terrific day

Not that I can give you all the details but lets just say this has been a pretty good day!  This morning Nikki had the girls all dressed in pretty dresses and we went to Sabbath School.  Keanna was thrilled that Sylvia was back from her trip so was very excited about going.  Kallie always enjoys Sabbath School and there were other children there too.  She sort of participates at her own direction but loves the action parts of the program.  And of course snack time is a favorite too.

Keanna made Kallie a hot chocolate at the refreshment center and the seemed to please her.  Keanna cannot drink one due to her allergies but was sweet enough to make her sister a drink.  Kallie drained it in no time.  Keanna had gotten to have Sylvia all to herself for the first part of the program being the only child there at the time.

Finally the girls went to the car and we headed out for Burger King.  The girls played a bit but mostly settled down to eat.  At noon I delivered them to their mother right in the middle of her wrapping presents.  Oh did I forget to all and warn her, whoops, my bad.

I took it easy this afternoon and built a fire, started a loaf of bread baking and this evening enjoyed time with a good friend, the bread dinged at just the right time and got to taste it, came out good once again.  The Heritage Singers were doing the vesper program at the Loma Linda Church and the programing was very nice through the dish.  Then this evening Art called to say they were in Loma Linda this afternoon and saw the huge crowd of people at the church.  They didn't know it was the Heritage Singers.  Art and Connie are enjoying some days at their home in the desert, taking long hikes in the morning up a steep mountain and loving the 80 degree weather.

I'm trying to complete as much work as I can before the Monday surgery.  I tend to believe that the surgery will slow me down for a few days, not good yet I'm so anxious to get the repair work completed as I'm in pain quite a bit now in the whole hand.

So for now I just thanking the Good Lord for His blessings, my brother Jerry for the firewood, my good friends for sharing time, Nikki and Steve for sharing Keanna and Kallie for Sabbath School.

Love to all,

Tim

Working ranchettes today!

Good evening,
First off I must mention that I received an email from Karen, a middle american friend who Nan often communicated with through the GIST world.  When Karen writes I always just stop everything and enjoy her thought out words.  Her email today was so special and encouraging.  Words can be like wonderful presents, wrapped with care and delivered at just the right time.

I call my sister Sibyl but her daughter answered.  Sibyl has been through some pretty rough times lately and is back in the Intensive care after being moved to a rehab hospital.  We nearly lost her and only through intense work did they bring her back.  I know she would love to know we are praying for her.  She lives in Ohio and has demonstrated a real passion for life.

Today was a day of seeing little farms.  Last week a gentleman had called seeking an appraisal of two little properties with about an acre each.  He had called a lady appraiser but she was too busy to get back to him and didn't want to deal price wise at all.  Not so wise in the current world.  Anyway we struck up a nice friendship today and I enjoyed seeing the two properties.  Then I had an order for a purchase of a property on a single acre so at noon I did that one.  The seller was an older guy, recently remarried who was moving to the 55 and over subdivision here in Brentwood.  A young couple was buying the ranch and they are getting a steal.  Yes there will be work cleaning up the grounds but the home is secure and well kept.  The guy was really funny and I hated to leave.

Then I set to work to shoot the comparables for all three properties.  It took a couple hours but I just started in Oakley and worked my way down through Brentwood, Knightsen and finally Byron.  The nice thing was that the first two were paid for on the spot!  Funny how that always urges one forward, the thrill of being paid!

Well now the Sabbath hours have arrived.  In a few minutes I think I'll get to have dinner with Nikki and girls at UNOs, yes I'm heading for the soup, so good.

I'm seeing properties on Sunday in anticipation of my Monday surgery.  Not sure how well I'll be able to work or type after the finger gets its little surgery but it needs to happen.  The pain is really quite intense at times and opening doors or making a fist is now out of the question at times.

Ray has consented to go with me to the surgery in Walnut Creek on Monday morning, hate to make him get up so early as he often stays up late at night but I do appreciate the lift.  The paperwork says I should have someone drive me and then it says I could probably drive myself, OK so which is it?  We are being careful.

I hope you enjoy your weekend with family, friends and your Maker.  Oh what a mess this world is in and I can only imagine how much He wants to bring his children home.

Love to all,

Tim

ps A nice thing happened today.  The guy I met this morning for the first two properties works at the local cemetary, where Nan rests and he said he could create a little device that will mark the spot where she is laid so we can know exactly the right place when we visit.  That will help until we can manage a marker.

Thanksgiving 2011

How strange it felt to wake to a quiet house on Thanksgiving morning.  For many years I would wake to the smell of pies baking, cottage cheese loaf cooking, the kitchen would be full of light and heat, various pieces of equipment would be strewn about, rolling pins, apple peeling machines, pots and pans, deep fryer etc.  And the TV would be showing the Macy parade with the balloon flying high, marching orders would be given as to setting the table, making sure things were ready.

Instead of bustling joyous activity there was nothing. The phone range cracking the silence, Ken wanted to walk, well why not so we did our thing around the lake in the morning air.  Then it was back to a shower and building a fire and settling down in the office to see if I could get some work completed.

Early afternoon I headed out to Tracy but stopped by Starbucks for a peppermint mocha, they have a special one that has only 100 calories and its great.  Then I drove to Jill and Roger's place, a friendly bunch of people where Steve spent part of his growing up years.  They are lovely people and Jill is a very special lady with so much love for kids, her kids, her grandkids our kids.  She makes the day.  The food was great and that was fun.

Finally I drove home and finished the appraisal I was to complete yesterday morning when I discovered the crashed computer.  Got to admit I worked slow and this evening I've been able to complete the report and get it emailed to the client.  This one is from an organization called Service Master, they provide leads for people who might need an appraisal.  Many of the leads are worthless but two have turned into appraisals so far.

So another Thanksgiving has slipped by and I honestly don't know what to think, to do about moving forward with a relationship.  I've found that to be fair to them they have to be given quite a bit of time and when the choice is between finding someone and producing work, well so far I've just gone with work.  I guess one comes to a place where they find it very hard to even consider that there might be someone out there that would be attracted to me, would get past my rough exterior to the love I am capable of sharing.  So of course it is easier to do nothing, to take no chances than to step out and risk.  While I don't enjoy being alone I've not been willing to do what it takes to find someone yet. 

I am thankful for the work load this fall has brought, for having Steve to work with me, for the joy of the kiddos.  I just love to hear Timothy on the phone or even Mia doing her baby messages to pappa.

Well tomorrow has more appointments to deal with and I even have one on an island now, you only get there by ferry, that should be fun and challenging, there is no address, only directions how to find it and how to slip by the fence for access.  Should be interesting.

Well until another morning breaks, love to all

Tim
ps so thankful for Jim's help yesterday, while my computer is not perfect it is totally useable thanks to his efforts.