Conflicted

Dear Family and Friends,

Its getting cold again tonight, now not Rhode Island or Weed cold but cold just the same.  I was overjoyed to hear on KDFC, my online classical station that the all knowing do gooders at the air quality control district are getting close to calling for no wood fires.  That really made my day.  I went in and stoked my fire into greater action.  I'm burning this wonderful hardwood that lasts forever and burns very cleanly and it keeps this place warm all day and night.

This morning I decided to take a stab at installing MagicJack for the house line, 925 634 6132.  While I really don't want to let the house line go I'm tired of paying $36 a month for a video phone line I have never used once.  With Magic Jack the cost is less than $2 a month and the voice quality is excellent.  They have assigned a random number I can use until my phone line gets captured from ACN and is transferred to Magic Jack.  So I get free long distance anywhere in the US, call forwarding, caller ID, just don't have to pay so much money for it.  It cost me $65 and Ray picked it up at FRY's the other day.  It was challenging to set up since they have NO phone number you can call for help, its all on the web but I managed it.  Pretty happy with that decision.  Next I'll switch the business line as well and then the fax line too.  What will I do with all this money?  Mmmm probably not a problem there.

Once the Kaiser Doctor sent the email asking for 3 days of blood sugar numbers I let that be a kick in the pants to do better.  Last night after a good dinner at Applebees I had nothing else, same tonight.  I woke up feeling great this morning and slept solid all night.  For lunch today I planned ahead.  Using the little toaster oven I baked a potato.  I find them too large so I cut it in two and put the other half in foil and in the frig.  My half I put in the toaster oven for 70 minutes at 425.  It came out great and with the help a little butter and lots of asparagus that I microwaved and some cottage cheese I had a delicious lunch.  Two hour later I took my blood and it was the lowest number I've seen in many weeks.  I guess vege's do better than endless sandwiches.

Tonight I had a can of the soup I found, light vegetarian soup with very few calories but outstanding taste.  The  can is larger than a usual can and it has enough water already in so there is no need to add any.  Its great but at Safeway the only ones they had were based on a chicken base but the one I had for dinner is based on vegetable broth base.  I plan to stock up when I find them again.  These cans were from Raley's.

Well perhaps I've said enough.  I'm dealing with bummer feelings.  The bandaged hand is getting very old, its in the way for everything and typing with it ends up causing pains in the hand yet of course I type all day.  After researching paxil a bit more I'm getting off it.  The web sites dedicated to helping people get off the stuff have some pretty amazing stories of what people go through to get free of it.  I'm only on 5 mg so I expect my departure to be uneventful, just glad I'm not on 20 or 30 mg as getting free seems much more difficult for those people.  As someone said on the web, I got off because I got tired of feeling good about everything and being forgetful, gaining a lot of weight.

So I'm ready and I'm cutting back, literally cutting the pills in half and then half again which means a very tiny pill is left.

I'm ready to engage in life again and leave the zombie world behind.

Love to all,

Tim