Struggling to stay positive

Dear Family and Friends,

So its Wednesday, the day the kiddos come to visit, usually that makes it a happy day, well that part was happy but its so cold its hard to be totally positive.

Last night was cold in this house.  With no heater since last spring unless I take time to build a fire I freeze.  After $500 and 5 service calls I don't know where to turn to get the furnace going again.  No one really cares whether they fix it or not.

So last night about 2 am I was so cold it woke me.  I stepped out into the chilly air and located an additional blanket.  That really helped and soon I was cozy warm and could sleep the rest of the night. 

This morning it was chilly when I woke and after turning off the 7 am alarm I slipped back under the covers to pray, just to cold to sit on the edge of the bed.  I threw on the sweats and came down to take the blood sugar, not bad at 165.  Then it was out the door with Pooka and we raced around the lake.

I've settled in to write reports today and fix conditions.  Its been a long day but I've gotten a lot done so that is good.  As the day progressed I felt my mood darken and its still that way now.  On a personal level things are not that great right now and I've been waiting for 5 days for money to come in the mail, every day my situation worsens but still no money.  Today it was bad but as I go to bed I have hope for tomorrow and the mails.

At least I'm very busy which bodes well for the near future when these get paid for.  That will help as I'm not working on being ready to pay the house payment on the 16th and its a big hit every time.

I built a fire today and brought the house up from 59 to about 70 but it is cold again right now, does not last that long and I want to be careful with the wood I have left, running out of wood is not something I'm looking forward to.

There are so many things, people to be thankful for and I know that should be enough to keep my spirits flying but I'm so tired of being alone and am hopeful that I'll not have to be that way forever.

Sending love to all,

Tim