At last its Friday evening

Dear Ones,
Finally home after an afternoon in holiday traffic.  I had a 3:30 appointment in Hayward and as I drove to the property I could not help but notice that traffic was solid and very slow from Castro Valley all the way through Livermore.  I knew that spelled a couple hours stuck in traffic when I headed home.  After taking all the time I needed to do the appraisal and purchasing diesel in Castro Valley I had to face the music. It came to me to use Crow Canyon which is a local two lane road and then once arriving at the freeway I decided to just stay on local roads.  The trip home took an hour, a normal travel time and I was able to totally shun the freeway.  Once arriving home I found myself totally tired and so ended up taking a long nap in the chair in my office.  Eventually I woke from my stupor, called Lois to see if she wanted to catch Subway.  We did that but I've still felt really tired out.  So the things I had hoped to do once I came home are left undone and I'm heading to bed.
Tomorrow will be an exciting day as Jason, Jo and Timothy meet Kallie and me in Tracy for church and then several of us are going to have lunch while in Tracy, then we will head home for some paddle boat fun with Mr. Timothy. 
This evening they are playing some really beautiful music related to the 4th holiday.  There is really nothing quite like great music, music that has stood the test of years, of generations and still is hauntingly beautiful, moving, memorable.  Is there anything like a solo violin or viola?  How I wish I knew more about how great music is constructed, I know that I like it but not always sure why.  My friend Joyce knows music and has gotten me listening to a Sacramento classical station that I get streaming through the Internet.  It has lifted the caliber of my enjoyment of life so many times over the past months.
I working through a book shared with me by my friend Ron.  It is the book from the author of Men are Mars, Women are from Venus and he has written a book dealing with finding ones life after divorce or losing a spouse in death.  While much of the book does not relate to me as it is dealing with forgiving a spouse after a divorce some parts are outstanding for my own situation having lost Nan.
For the most part my life functions well now.  No longer does memories engender pain, now they pretty much bring solid memories.  Today as I drove home on the backroads I could not help but remember many late night trips home from San Ramon Regional Medical Center after one of Nan's several surgeries.  I would stay with her as long as I could and once she fell asleep I would head home at 11 or 12 using the backroads.  Yes I remembered those times this afternoon and what I remembered most was the courage and strength Nan demonstrated as she struggled to recover from these huge surgeries.
There is one idea presented over and over in the book that is somewhat difficult to accept.  The concept is to realize that there will be a loving experience in the future that is even stronger than anything I have experienced yet.  At this point with no one in sight and a lack of awareness of even how to meet someone who might enjoy a life with me that concept, of greater happiness than before, seems either impossible or very distant.  Frankly I don't spend much energy thinking about it.  Life is pretty full with just the survival things I need to do.
Well if sleep is what I need its 9:46 now and I need to make the move toward rest.
Good night to all,

love

tim