Plugging away

As I was reading the GIST website tonight I learned that a guy named John just died.  He was a real charmer, if he is who I think he is, Nan loved him and they talked a lot.  When we went to Long Island for the GIST walk he met us at our motel and we ate with him later at a get together.  It filled me with sadness to realize once again that another family has suffered a loss that cannot be fixed, only gradually forgotten over time.  Life is so fragile and people take it so for granted, I do even now.

The gloom of the weather and my heart seems almost overwhelming the last few days.  The bright spots are friends and family but they have their own lives to live.  I've stopped even considering looking for someone, I'm heavy, that is a road block that seems impossible to surmount.  Besides pursuing a relationship takes effort, time, money and work seems to keep me pretty busy right now.

This morning I made a little fire and that was nice, took the chill off of things for the whole day, in fact it became so warm that I had the ceiling fan on for part of the afternoon.  Now its bed time and so look forward to it, just wish I could sleep the whole night and wake up rested.  Its hard to know what God has in mind for me, right now I feel like I'm running in place making no progress but not falling beside the path either.  My work quality output is pretty good with few kickbacks or calls for revisions, I've been seeing some pretty impressive properties along with a lot of average ones.  How I long for the days when there was someone who really was interested in our life together, who introduced exciting foods, travel to fun places, humor etc.  Is that possible again?  For many guys it seems like they do it so easily, married 9 months later, everything is roses.

Well its really time to go to bed and please continue to pray for our family and we all face big decisions almost on a daily basis.

Love

Tim