Oncology news

Well here we go again. 
This afternoon I had an appointment with Dr. Bahl, an oncologist.  His news was sobering.  He went over the findings from the surgery where a 3.2 cm tumor was removed.  It is considered a very low grade slow moving cancer and the path reports show they cut with clear margins getting all of the tumor cells.  However that is not the end of the story.

Turns out that when this very specific tumor is larger than 2 cm then removing a part of the colon is the standard practice.  He says it is not urgent but should be done in the next 2 months time.  This time there will be a scar since they want to have a clear view of what is taking place inside.  That also means longer recovery time, how exciting.  So I walked out having to work through more thoughts about my mortality.  Now Nan would have been quick to put it in perspective but at this point I have to move forward on my own.

This evening I'm enjoying some calmer weather.  I've had white caps on the lake all day and high winds buffeting the house.  I've had a fire burning but there are enough places around the dog door where outside air slips in that there are drafts everywhere.  Yet Starr and I have stayed warm enough.

I'm considering having Starr put to sleep tomorrow.  Her life is miserable, she can't do anything and is totally dependant on me, I don't mind the duty but soon I'll be gone for a few days and she would be so miserable with me away.  This morning when I put her on her fresh pad she looked up at me for several moments, I could just see her saying, do I have to endure another boring day?  It will be one of the harder things I ever had to do as Starr has been in the middle of our lives for the last 14 years, through it all she has been there, on the bed, on the recliner, at our heels, at the table begging, barking, warning, chasing the cats, attacking Jazz, our full size Golden who lives next door.  Starr has been a great traveler in the motorhome, a great hiking buddy and a loyal friend.  Why oh why does life toss us these terrible choices?

On another front my IPHONE is dead this evening.  I'm not sure what happened.  I had it with me at the doctors, then when I got a hair cut and finally when I was talking to Nikki as I drove home, then at Subway but when I reached for it it was totally dead, plugging it in did not help, its just dead.;  Suddenly my business contacts, my friends everything is up in the air.  So I guess I'll be checking in at the AT&T store in the morning to see what needs to happen next.  Funny how much these little devices become a part of our life.  I had to call Nikki to reach Jason tonight as I didn't know his home number.

I would appreciate your prayers as I wade through this maze of cancer, surgery, holding the business together, getting work completed and finding my way to better health.

Love to all

Tim